quarterly-report.com Political Commentary by James R. Audet

The 10th Day
April 3, 1999 (Good Friday)

The supertanker, SS Credibility is sailing through Prince William Sound.  It carries a partial load of crude.  In command is Captain Bill Clinton.  At his side is First Mate Tony Blair.

"Mr. Blair, isn't that red light the Kosovo beacon?" asks Clinton.

"Aye sir."

"Helmsman, hard left, 90 degrees," says Clinton.

Also present on the bridge is the navigator, Lieutenant McCain.  He voices a concern.  "Captain, haven't you forgotten the basic rule of procedure summed up by the phrase, Johnny left port in a red coat.  We should keep clear of the Kosovo light and let it pass to port."

"That's an old wives' tail, like ground troops are needed to win a war.  We head for the light."

Minutes pass like days as McCain awaits the inevitable.  Ten minutes later, the Kosovo light looms above the bow of the supertanker.  There follows a grinding noise as the ship smashes into the rocks.  Crude oil gushes from the belly of the vessel.

"What happened, Mister McCain," asked Clinton.

"We're aground, Captain."

"How can that be Mister?  Computers run this ship.  Your mistaken.   We cannot be stuck."

"Captain unless you do something fast, we're gonna lose our entire cargo."

"Mr. McCain you exaggerate.  Have Chief Shelton get us moving again."

"Captain, that will be impossible."

Click on this sentence for the terms that govern your use of this web site.